Today is my favorite day of the year – a day of reflecting on what has been and what is possible. 2018, however, has been my least favorite year. I find myself trying to be gentle as I lick my wounds from what has been the most mentally, emotionally, and physically challenging year of my life so far. If nothing else, that’s a sign of growth, and strength.

Through the course of break ins, accidents, and failed pursuits one thing has become clearer and more important than anything else – relationships. In 2018 I’m grateful for friends and family. For knowing and being reaffirmed that I have an incredible network of people in my life that have picked me up, dusted me off, wiped my tears, and laughed at the ridiculousness of all of it. And that’s something to hang a hat on.

I’ve connected and reconnected with family near and far. Reunited with people who I haven’t seen or known for more than 20 years and deepened those relationships most close to me with vulnerability and trust. It’s often easy to feel like it’s me against the world – when it’s actually me against myself. Softening my approach and flowing through life has been both a challenge and an intention.

Moving into 2019 I’m trying to let go of a few things:

Victim mentality

Unhealthy coping mechanisms

Anger and frustration from failure and rejection

And I’m looking forward to being more:

Grateful

Authentic and vulnerable

Present and hopeful

I’ll start the new year in Kilifi, Kenya with friends and the most stars you could ever find in one dark, mysterious, magnificent sky. January will be a month of tough transitions followed by recovery of the body, mind, and soul.

My New Years resolutions are few but important for 2019:

1. Do something that scares the shit out of me.

2. Save money (the adult one)

3. Follow through on all the creative goals I’ve set over the last few years (more to come…)

4. To spend the most time with those who allow me to be exactly who I am.

Lastly, I hope to believe in myself with unconditional love. To feel strong and confident, patient and calm, and open to all that 2019 has to offer.

I wish everyone reading this the peace of mind to accept where you are and the determination to work hard for all the things you want to achieve. ❤️