Yesterday was a really long day.  I woke up at 6:00 a.m. for a corporate activation.  It was a very successful activation.  I then collected a payment, and spent 2 hours in traffic returning home.  Only to find I was locked out because last week I lost my keys while running.  I walked to a nearby cafe ate lunch, and returned home to finish up some work.  I found I couldn’t connect to the internet because recently we had to reset all of our routers and return to the original 17 character alpha-numeric factory passcodes…which are written underneath the device located inside the locked house.

So I thought I’d go for a run.  Loosen up a bit and clear my head.  I turned on my favorite tunes and set forth on a route I’ve run many times into the heart of Westlands.  About 2 miles into my run I started to get in the zone.  Gliding down a hill I saw several groups of people walking in my direction.  As I tried to avoid their path, 2 guys walked directly towards me.  One pushed me towards traffic, while the other swiped my phone from my hand.  They both took off running, and by the time I figured out which way they were going, it was too late (and probably too dangerous) to follow them.  Angry, I turned around, picked up the pace, and booked it home.

Of course I forgot about my internet problem, so I grabbed my laptop and went back to the nearest cafe to track my phone.  Which was offline.  I locked it, and put it in lost mode.  After collecting advice from friends and family, I walked home got my documents and went to the Parklands Police Station.  As I was pulling into the parking area, I got stuck-one wheel off the ground.  An officer helped me for about 10 minutes before I finally made it in.  I waited patiently in line for another 20 minutes before The officer caught my eye and asked what was wrong.  We filed the report and I requested an abstract for insurance purposes.  They made a fuss but agreed.

While waiting for signatures, the initial police officer who filed my report made several not so subtle comments towards me.  Told me I was very beautiful and then asked if he could come visit me at my house.  I told him I was leaving the country soon.  He then said no worries, you can come visit me at my house.  I politely declined, but he insisted.  Then he took my phone number from the report and saved it in his phone.  I then asked for his number (so I could block it) and just as he finished writing it, the investigating officer returned with my signed abstract.  I thanked them and left abruptly.

I was almost out of the police station when a guard stopped me and asked where I was going.  I said I was returning home and just needed him to open the gate.  He then leaned in closer and asked if I was in the station for a traffic violation.  I told him I was reporting a stolen phone and showed him the abstract.  Finally he let me go.  Good thing… because legally I shouldn’t be driving in Kenya…

I then went straight to the Safaricom (yeah, that’s the name of the mobile provider) shop at the nearest mall.  Picked out the cheapest smart phone on the market, and transferred my old number, mobile money, and data plan over.  Got home at 8:45pm.  Exhausted. Pissed. Relieved. Hungry.

If I were keeping score… Kenya has me 10 to 1.  But I’m not.  If this is part of the bag-phone-laptop-wallet-stealing, stomach-wrenching-vomiting-diarrhea-fever-chills-inducing, bad-luck-crazy-driving-poor-timing-murphy’s-law-following, 6-month induction period to Kenya, then consider me the underdog.  After Round 1.  ‘Cause I’m here to stay.